and in thy wisdom make me wise.

being an english major means constantly reading. and i mean constantly. most of the time it's laborious and uninteresting.. but there are times when i just simply get blown away.

this is one of those times.

i deleted a stanza near the end of the passage because i didn't think it was necessary as it was related to tennyson's personal relationships. but the rest of the passage, wow. so well worded, so well put. i especially like the part where tennyson talks about how man knows not why (and cannot understand why) he was created, but he must believe he wasn't made to simply die. and i love the line "Our wills are ours, to make them thine".

Tennyson // In Memoriam: Prologue.

Strong Son of God, immortal Love,
Whom we, that have not seen thy face,
By faith, and faith alone, embrace,
Believing where we cannot prove;

Thine are these orbs of light and shade;
Thou madest Life in man and brute;
Thou madest Death; and lo, thy foot
Is on the skull which thou hast made.

Thou wilt not leave us in the dust:
Thou madest man, he knows not why,
He thinks he was not made to die;
And thou hast made him: thou art just.

Thou seemest human and divine,
The highest, holiest manhood, thou.
Our wills are ours, we know not how;
Our wills are ours, to make them thine.

Our little systems have their day;
They have their day and cease to be:
They are but broken lights of thee,
And thou, O Lord, art more than they.

We have but faith: we cannot know;
For knowledge is of things we see
And yet we trust it comes from thee,
A beam in darkness: let it grow.

Let knowledge grow from more to more,
But more of reverence in us dwell;
That mind and soul, according well,
May make one music as before,

But vaster. We are fools and slight;
We mock thee when we do not fear:
But help thy foolish ones to bear;
Help thy vain worlds to bear thy light.

Forgive what seem’d my sin in me;
What seem’d my worth since I began;
For merit lives from man to man,
And not from man, O Lord, to thee.

[...]

Forgive these wild and wandering cries,
Confusions of a wasted youth;
Forgive them where they fail in truth,
And in thy wisdom make me wise.

<3

everything will be OKAY.

full time student.

part-time job at law school.

part-time job as personal assistant.

production manager of kcn2011.

sigh, i feel so worn out. when did life become so busy? for the past week i feel like i've been on auto-pilot. like in the movie click, where adam sandler just fast forwards his life and sees himself living it but doesn't remember? he doesn't know what the hell happened but all he knows is that time has passed? i feel like that. i look back in my week and i'm like ..huh i did all of that? i look back in my planner and see all of these notes, marks, to do lists, errands, assignments, tests and i'm like ..wow that happened already?

i seriously just need to take a step back, pause, breathe, and relax. and sleep (the thing on my to-do list that i haven't ever gotten around to doing).

psalm 91:1-5. He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.

i love these verses. it gives me a sense of calm. and i always tend to go back to these verses. i love the fifth verse, "you will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day". for some reason though i don't just see one arrow that comes toward me. i see arrowS. i mean seriously who only goes through one single struggle or is faced with one problem in an entire day? there are multiple struggles to overcome or deal with. but then in the end i guess it is just one arrow, sin..

but God is faithful. and He will take my hand and lead me through. and make sure that I don't fear the crazy billion things i have to do for the whole day but that i will trust that everything will be OKAY. i can't stress that enough. everything will be OKAY. God makes all things work together for my good. for OUR good!

i haven't posted in 4 months.

hello blog, it's been a long timeee.

i'm at work and i don't really have much on my mind. i'm pretty bored actually so i went on flickr and found this picture :)

puppy1: where's he going?

puppy2: tennis ball! tennis ball! tennis ball! tennis ball!

puppy3: whoaa he's flying!

hehe this is such a cute picture.. look how happy puppy2 is!

he just has his eye on the prize and is going after what he wants..

and nobody can touch him :)

that's my kind of puppy.

beowulf.

Oh cursed is he
who in time of trouble has to thrust his soul
in the fire's embrace, forfeiting help;
he has nowhere to turn. But blessed is he
who after death can approach the Lord
and find friendship in the Father's embrace.
--Beowulf // Norton translation


:) yesterday i officially changed my major to english. and if this is the kind of stuff i'm going to be reading for the next 2 years.. then i'm looking forward to it!